Betting the Marlboro Man at 200 to 1
Dear Mark,
Now that Michael Jordan is returning to the Chicago Bulls, my brother-in-law
wants me, when I go to Las Vegas next month, to make a "future bet"
on the Bulls repeating as world champions. Could you first explain what
a "future bet" is and give some examples? Sonja A. South Bend,
IN
A "future bet" is nothing more than placing a wager on the outcome
of a future event. In your brother-in-law's case, he likes the Bulls to
win the whole enchilada next year. Currently the Bulls are even money to
win the 1996-97 N.B.A. Championship, meaning, bet $100 to win $100. Though
his team loyalty at even money has little value, he could take a chance
on a long shot like the 500 to 1 Vancouver Grizzlies. Bet $100, and if they
win, he's $50,000 richer.
As for examples, almost anything, Sonja, could be a future bet, though not
available, or legal, in the United States. Only sporting events are. But
across the big pond in England, you will find that they take wagers on just
about anything. You could probably get 200 to one that the Marlboro Man
will be Bob Dole's running mate. Seriously. Well sort of. Toned down some,
here's an example that 75 million daily viewers of the "Today"
show might want some future-bet action on. Who will replace Bryant Gumble
and sit next to megawatt coanchor Katie Couric when he retires at the end
of this year? I'll set the odds as follows:
Matt Lauer: 2 to 1 Besides the odds-on favorite, my wife thinks he's easy
on the eyes.
Jack Ford: 5 to 1 He does the weekend version of the "Today" show.
Al Roker: 10 to 1 Big guys unite. My personal favorite.
Willard Scott: 25 to 1 Like me, he wants to work less, not more.
The Field: 30 to 1 That's everyone else, including you, Sonja.
Dear Mark,
How come I always lose when I'm drinking with my buddies vs. sober and winning
by myself. Brad, SF, CA
Casinos are fundamentally democratic institutions where all are welcome,
united in the brotherhood (and sisterhood) of losing. Free drinks (chip
remover) which have always been part of the casino ambience, speed up the
process. Then there's Brad, gambling with friends, raised testosterone,
elevated male bravado and sipping hooch, not for pleasure but gulping for
effect. What do you expect, Brad? I'll tell you. The demise of a normally
sensible gambler!
All bets are off on the quality of your play, Brad, when influenced by any
intoxicating beverage.
Dear Mark,
I received an advertisement in the mail that offered a book of coupons that
I can use on my next trip to Las Vegas. They wanted $4.95 for $200 worth
of coupons. Is that a good deal? Terry B. Buffalo, NY
Save your money, Terry. Not only is Las Vegas the hot dog, shrimp cocktail
(see below) capital of the world, but for the coupon clipper, Las Vegas
is "half-off" city. Everywhere you look, or go, newsstands will
be loaded with, and hawkers passing out, coupons with the latest bargains
in Las Vegas. The favorite of many who journey to Vegas is What's On
in Las Vegas. With a 130,000-per-issue circulation, you will find this
FREE, coupon-laden publication everywhere.
Before I Shuffle: Tom, from Lexington, Kentucky, wanted to know
who has the best shrimp cocktails in Las Vegas. I'm partial to a joint downtown
called the Golden Gate. They're cheap-99¢-have no filler (generally
50 percent celery), and the servings are huge. You'll find these bargain
shrimp cocktails in the deli near the rear of the casino. I'll be in Las
Vegas next month to field-test these denizens of the deep, again, for the
tenth time, to make sure I'm not giving out erroneous information. Do I
get all types of questions or what?
Got a question about gambling? Write to: Deal Me In, 774 Mays Blvd.
Suite 10, Incline Village, NV 89451 or e-mail:winners@winner.com
· To order Mark Pilarski's "Hooked on Winning" audio cassettes--laminated
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