Your Ticket to Three Squares a Day
Dear Mark,
I know the following question I'm about to ask is illegal, but I'm still
interested.
A small factory close to my home discards a circular coin-like metal that
is exactly the same size and weight as the silver dollar coins used in a
casino. If I were caught inserting the coins into a machine, what would
happen? Anonymous, Internet
This ditty written by Ian Lewis best illustrates what will befall the ignorant
found inserting slugs into a casino slot machine.
"Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come
for you?"
The TV show "COPS" is filmed on location in the city of Las Vegas.
Dear Mark,
Why don't nickel machines return the same percentages as quarter machines?
Sara R. San Jose, CA
The main reason nickel machines have poorer payouts than quarters and quarters
less than dollars is because the cost to maintain any machine-slot personnel,
floor space, maintenance, etc.,-is exactly the same. Each slot has to yield
a targeted number of dollars for the casino, so a larger percentage must
be kept from the lower denomination machines to meet those goals.
Dear Mark,
Even when playing perfect basic strategy at blackjack where the house edge
is nil, I still occasionally go home losing. Explanation please. Sheldon
M. Buffalo, NY
Enter Pilarski's rule number seven of gaming: "The odds are even money
that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming
train."
It is called gambling, Sheldon.
Dear Mark,
Because you mentioned that slots operate using the same computer chip as
a video poker machine, why not stick with slots as they are easier to play?
Larry L. Yuba City, CA
True, Larry, the first part of your question is correct in that most of
today's video games (video poker, video blackjack, and video keno) are derivatives
of slot machines and actually use the same microprocessor technology and
random number sequences, but, video poker, blackjack, and keno machines
provide players with real options and choices that require an element of
skill that regular slot machines don't. With this skill, you can hack away
at the high house advantage that the average slot machine holds over you.
Dear Mark,
Why is it that you recommend learning and playing more than one type of
game in a casino? Robert B. CompuServe
By diversifying your playing portfolio and learning different games, when
you do have a run of bad luck in blackjack, you can always try craps or
video poker.
Dear Mark,
What exactly is the house edge? Lefty O. Hebron, OH
The house edge is a mathematical percentage-always in the casino's favor-that
the casino takes on each bet. This edge is the casino's true income and
why they can build those high rises. For the house to pay for those construction
costs, winning bets are paid off at less than true odds.
Lefty, consider it a payment for playing in their establishment, or, an
entertainment tax.
Before I Shuffle:
I've been a Green Bay Packer fan ever since I was knee-high to a coke bottle.
The proof? Would you wear one of those cheeseheads in public? Is your bathroom
wallpapered with 20 years of losing sports tickets? But this year the Pack
is back. The ghost of Vince Lombardi returned to Lambeau Field echoing his
infamous quote: "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
Ah, but readers of this column know I'm a sucker for any type of gaming
adage, and upon further research I've found that Lombardi is not the true
originator of said saying, but a Henry "Red" Sanders is. Anyhow,
GO PACKERS.
Got a question about gambling? Write to: Deal Me In, 774 Mays Blvd.
Suite 10, Incline Village, NV 89451 or e-mail:winners@winner.com
· To order Mark Pilarski's "Hooked on Winning" audio cassettes--laminated
win cards package ($12.95 plus $2. S&H) call (800) WINNERS.
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