Bring Your Kids -- Sort Of

Dear Mark,
I wish I had read a past column you wrote called Split Decision before I made a recent trip with my family to Las Vegas. I was appalled at the amount of handbills advertising sex being pushed down my throat on the Strip right in front of the MGM Grand. Who in their right mind would bring a family to Las Vegas? Clifford M. Springfield, OH

As a result of continual complaints from tourists like you, Clifford, the Clark County Commission recently approved a ban on the passing out of handbills in Las Vegas. The ban is targeted primarily at the aggressive peddlers (smutters) on the Las Vegas Strip who force-feed fliers, most of which contain sexually explicit ads for call girl services, on unwilling tourists as they stroll by. The ban also affects businesses that hand out ads in front of their stores along the strip.
Those needing their carnal obsessions attended to in Sin City will still find arousal circulars at newspaper stands-which are exempt, as are non-commercial enterprises.
By the way, Clifford, since when is Las Vegas for those in their right mind?

Dear Mark,
My boyfriend and I are planning an upcoming gambling trip to Las Vegas. I want to prove to my fiancee that I know a little more about chance than he thinks. Is there any even money bet in Nevada? Sandra R. Napa, CA

Oh yeah, Sandra. Drive over to one of the 34 wedding chapels in Vegas and get married. Marriage today is statistically a fifty/fifty proposition that you'll end up divorced. And if you divorce rich-jackpot. There's your even money bet.

Dear Mark,
What exactly is a "Buffalo" bet? Is it all the hard way bets and the "red," or, is it all the hard way wagers and the "yo"? We have a wager on your response. Scott M. Pelston, MI

First, Scott, let's get a few particulars out of the way for my loyal readers with finite craps vernacular. "Red" is the number seven and "yo," the number 11.
A buffalo bet is $1 each on all the hard ways and $1 on the 7 (red).

Before I Shuffle: Allow me a moment to deliberate on great journalism.
My mentor of column writing, Herb Caen of the San Francisco Chronicle, has moved on to his new digs in some spiritual place, probably heaven. Note here, I didn't necessarily say a better locale. San Francisco is San Francisco.
It's those ten minutes of daily reflection in my four-by-four library (also used as a half bath) that religiously included the Pulitzer Prize prose of Herb Caen. The Pulitzer Prize board, after dozens of nominations, finally recognized his "extraordinary and continuing contribution as a voice and a conscience of his city" last year. That's right, HIS city! Herb Caen IS San Francisco.
The only positive for the rest of us mere mortals who write mindless drivel compared to Mister Dot...Dot...Dot is the accessibility of more Absolut Vodka at Moose's in North Beach.
Those never exposed to the wit and wisdom of Mr. Caen can find his work surviving eternally on the internet at (http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/caen/). The digital world, let alone computers, was a technology Caen never embraced. Instead, he pounded out his pithy scooplets on "the old Royal" six days a week for 58 years. For us computer literate want-to-be columnists who try like hell to emulate ironman Caen, that alone is worth a free pass through the pearly gates.
So, Herb Caen, for those of us who knew you, if just through your daily snippets, we will miss you.

Got a question about gambling? Write to: Deal Me In, 774 Mays Blvd. Suite 10, Incline Village, NV 89451 or e-mail:winners@winner.com · To order Mark Pilarski's "Hooked on Winning" audio cassettes--laminated win cards package ($12.95 plus $2. S&H) call (800) WINNERS.


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